President Trump Really Enjoying Watergate Reacting-to-the-Past Role Playing Game


WASHINGTON, D.C. – The recent firing of FBI Director James Comey has raised fears in the nation’s capital that President Trump is taking his Simpson College Reacting-to-the-Past Game a little bit too seriously.

The May Term course, entitled “Watergate: The Fall of Nixon,” is taught by experienced cosplayer and longtime history professor Nick Proctor.* The course allows students to role play as important figures during Watergate and see how they would have, or should have, reacted had they been in that person’s position.

“Lil’ Donnie signed up early for the course… way back in February. He brought along some of his friends too,” said Proctor as he reorganized his alleged “prop” sword collection in his office. “Let’s see… he said his buddy (NSA Director) Michael Flynn would be really interested and so would Paul Manafort, Carter Page, and Roger Stone.”

Proctor recalls the gusto with which his non-traditional students immersed themselves in the Watergate scandal.

“Yeah, Lil’ Donnie really wanted a lot of extra credit for this class so he went ahead and created his own conspiracy and scandal!” said Proctor as he sorted his extensive costume closet. “Talk about a man with some initiative and energy! But I was a little concerned by his fascination and unhealthy interest in the person playing Deep Throat.”

Unfortunately, a small number of US senators and representatives have taken issue with President Trump’s extra credit project.

“When the President confuses Director Comey for Special Investigator Archibald Cox, you know things have gone too far,” explained Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), a Republican with back problems since he occasionally uses his spine. “He used to be Jacksonian, now he’s Nixonian… what’s he gonna be next? More-Dumbian?”

While the May Term course is set to end on the 19th, it’s unknown when Trump’s extra credit project will come to an end. However, without Gamesmaster Comey, the game is expected to end rather quickly. But whoever takes over, they’ll have the duties of Gamesmaster covered… up.

By Lionel Robertson

*Professor Nick Proctor was once mistakenly reported as being deceased by this news outlet. We at “the Acorn” are happy to see that the Religion Department’s black magic ceremony successfully brought Proctor back amongst the living. Side effects: Unknown.

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