The Acorn Disbands – All Operations to Cease As of Today

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A Message from the Editor-in-Chief Lionel Robertson

It is with great sadness that I tell you that “the Acorn,” the shining example and pinnacle of Simpson’s student news establishment, is shuttering its operations as of today. We were a tough nut to crack, but we finally did.

The Executive Council of “the Acorn” convened early this morning for a breakfast-side debate about the future of Simpson’s greatest student newspaper. Following a second serving of crispy bacon, it was decided unanimously early this afternoon that “the Acorn” would disband.

We are disbanding in much the same way that One Direction and NSYNC disbanded all those years ago. Personally, I plan to be the Zayn Malik or Justin Timberlake of the group. Others will have to go the way of Liam Payne or Chris Kirkpatrick.

My Co-Editor-in-Chief Paul Randalson was unable to contribute to this final post from “the Acorn.” He was busy boxing up our largish collection of Pulitzer Prizes in the backroom of Acorn headquarters. However, I know exactly what he would want you all to know and to do.

Paul would like for you all to continue the mission of “the Acorn” and spread and yell the truth from whispering maple to whispering maple across campus. He would also like you all to feed Stormy the Squirrel when you see him out and about… surprisingly, he actually LIKES Pfeiffer food.

From me, I want to thank you all for your years of support and readership. Together, we were able to Make Simpson Great Again (#MSGA) but the work will never be done. Today, we go out on top as the best source for news at Simpson College. We go out beloved by our readers and detested by those lacking hearts… or a sense of humor.

We love you all! And do me one favor… Stay Nutty my friends.

Love-

Lionel Robertson
Co-Editor-in-Chief
Co-Founder

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Categories: News

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