Top 10 Alternative Facts About Simpson College

The only group that can tell the TRUE facts
about Simpson College is the Acorn. 

These facts are indisputable.

1. The Freshmen Dorm Showers are the nicest facilities on campus and fit all sizes.

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2. Simpson WiFi is always there for us.

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3. Pfeiff food the healthiest stuff around. Guy Fieri approved.

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4. Through the transitive property, Simpson Men’s Basketball beat Baylor University.

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5. ResLife floor programs enjoy 100% participation of residents.

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6. Simpson tuition is ALMOST free next year.

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7. Lil’ Dicky is coming back to Simpson on Campus Day Eve.

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8. Simpson Intramural ping pong champion Randy Daytona drafted into the Official Association of Professional Table Tennis Athletes of North America.

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9. Rich Ramos is the youngest employee at Simpson College.

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10. Central College is better than Simpson… jk lulz

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By Lionel Robertson

Contributors: Tree Log, Seb, Annabelle Fox, Izzard the Dragon, Stevie Frank, Emmy Farrell, Molly (Molly… the good stuff)

Tags: , , ,

Categories: News

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