Hypnotist Chris Jones to become official Acorn sponsor


SIMPSON — Following his spellbinding show earlier tonight, hypnotist Chris Jones announced his desire to officially sponsor the Acorn.  

While waiting for the show to begin, the hypnotist, who has appeared on America’s Got Talent in the past, chanced upon a copy of our 2016 fall edition lying in the Kent Atrium.

As he was reading the paper, Jones drew several curious glances as he went from one wild fit of uncontrollable laughter to another.  “Who writes this stuff?” he exclaimed, after recovering a sufficient amount of breath.  “I’ve gotta meet them before I leave!”

Luckily, one of our writers, Annabelle Fox, was within earshot and immediately greeted Jones.  In a matter of minutes, the two hashed out a binding legal agreement, making Jones an official Acorn sponsor.  

“Basically, from now on in his shows, he’s going to hypnotize his audiences to subscribe to the Acorn,” Annabelle Fox stated.

As he was leaving campus, sources confirmed Jones was sporting an Acorn t-shirt and rehearsing the lines he will say to hypnotize future Acorn subscribers.

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