UPDATE: Class for Monday, Jan. 16, Cancelled Due to Inclement Weather


SIMPSON – In a surprising show of common sense, officials with Simpson College have cancelled all classes for Monday, Jan. 16, due to icy conditions on the sidewalks and roads.

The announcement was made a little after 8 p.m. Sunday night and the decision breaks with the college’s years-long policy of not cancelling classes for ANYTHING… no matter how terrible the weather.

“I fell on my left buttocks and let me tell ya’ it is mighty sore!” exclaimed President Simmons as he gingerly sat down on a cushioned chair. “Down in ‘Bama we never had such troublesome things as ‘ice’ to deal with!”

The official call to cancel classes was made by Jenne Simmons after she had retrieved President Simmons from his fetal position on the driveway.

“Y’all, I love you. And I’d be rightly dismayed if anything were to happen to my sweeties,” explained Jenne as she finished another batch of homemade cookies to be delivered to students in the morning. “Don’t you worry. Mama Jenne’s got ya backs… well, in this case, your backsides.”

Classes will resume as normally scheduled on Tuesday.

By Lionel Robertson


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Categories: News


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