Peaceful Transition of Power Threatened by SGA President’s Refusal to Leave Chair


SIMPSON – SGA President Robert Lyons’s refusal to leave his chair in the SGA Senate Chamber has left in question whether a peaceful transition in power can occur next week.

Following the last meeting of the SGA (before their Christmas Party Meeting next Wednesday), President Lyons remained seated in his mildly comfortable leather chair and told several Senators he had no intention of leaving.

“He made some grandiose statement about holding on till the end and that he had all the supplies he needed to do so,'” said Sen. Teig Loge (Sr.). “From what I saw, all he’s got are cough drops and backpack crumbs. Robert’s a good kid but a bit melodramatic at heart.”

Currently, two courses of action are being considered to speed along the removal of President Lyons.

“He’s lacking food, water, a change of clothes, bathroom facilities, a phone or laptop charger, and apparently his gosh darn mind,” explained SGA Vice-President Erica Heidler as she slowly and wryly shook her head. “So waiting him out would be easy-peasy.”

She continued.

“But his chair is also on wheels which makes forcible eviction quite easy and doable. As a soon to be teacher, I think we’re going to take the hard way.”

At press time, Senators Cody Isabel (Jr.) and Cort Singleton (Sr.) were seen wheeling a resigned-to-his-fate President Lyons from the SGA Chamber.

By Lionel Robertson

Tags: , , , ,

Categories: News


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