Intramurals to Host 1st Annual Squirrel Show (Like A Dog Show… but with Squirrels)

squirrel-show

Simpson is known for its many intramural sports and activities. The activities range from flag football to egg hunting, but due to the great interest in squirrels on campus the newest intramural will be a Squirrel Show.

Similar to dog shows, Simpson squirrels will be judged on their ability to complete certain tasks and how they look. Judges for the show are President Simmons, Rich Ramos, John Epperson, and Mayor Kelly Shaw.

Squirrels will be judged on three criteria: appearance, nut gathering ability, and noises each can make at passerby.

“I have been waiting for this show to happen since my freshman year,” proclaimed Nicolaus McEvers. “I’ve been raising Squeaks since he could walk. He’s a pure red squirrel and I think we have a great chance of winning the whole enchilada!”

Entry into the show requires strict adherence to the show’s rules. Squirrels will need to prove that they’ve been on Simpson’s campus for at least the past three generations. Squirrels whose family came over on the Stormflower during Simpson’s colonial period.

The squirrel must also be a pure breed of  fox, eastern gray, southern flying, or red squirrel.

“I for one think this show is extremely biased against squirrels that aren’t the type of breed the rules outline,” said Julie Frank as she was feeding the squirrels in Buxton Park.  “I believe every squirrel should be allowed to compete. Heck! Even chipmunks should be in this competition since they’re just as cute.”

Currently, 15 squirrels are registered for the show which will be taking place in the Cowles Center during Finals Week on December 14. Applicants will be accepted through Dec. 7 and applications must be submitted to Rich Ramos.

By Coby Berg

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Categories: News

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