Students Making Their Own “Adult” Candy for Safeblock


Vodka Gummy Bears.JPG

SIMPSON – In preparation for Safeblock this evening, several students have banded together to make some extra special goodies for the kiddos trick or treating in our residence halls.

While on rounds late Sunday night, two CA’s came across a trashcan filled with empty gummy bear bags and the strong stench of fruity flavored vodka. After further investigation, they found the students were using empty meal containers from Pfeiffer to soak the gummy bears in the vodka.

“The toxic gummies were stored in containers in the community fridge,” explained Nate Ginger, a first-year area CA and noted expert on incident report (IR) writing. “It’s what we in Residence Life call hiding in plain sight. Very sneaky.”

Based in part on the sheer quantity of gummy bears, and the labels on the boxes saying “FOR SAFEBLOCK – DO NOT TOUCH,” it is assumed the alcoholic goodies are to be passed out tonight.

“I took some of the gummies out of the fridge when I couldn’t find any space for my leftovers,” explained freshman Al C. O’Holic. “I’m not sure what they tasted like but they kinda smelled like nail polish remover… or maybe even paint thinner.”

Residence Life staff did not wish to comment on the issue; however, we have been informed that the vodka gummy bears were extracted from the building and disposed of appropriately. Whether the timely extraction was organized by students or by Residence Life is yet unknown.

The estimated cost of making the vodka gummy bears was $723.89. But the fun to be had? Priceless.

Author: Katie Platts
Editor: Lionel Robertson

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Categories: News


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