Preserved body of Harambe to be inducted into Carver Science Center

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SIMPSON — In an impromptu meeting with the Biology department earlier this morning, President Simmons revealed his intention to have the preserved body of Harambe inducted into Carver Science Center’s Hall of Fame by spring of 2017.

“It’s nearly a done deal, we just have to file the paperwork,” Simmons explained to his awestruck audience. “The only snag was that Southwestern Community College fought us very hard on this because they swore that their Taxidermy department had ‘dibs’ on Harambe or something.”

In a post-meeting interview, Simpson’s Department Chair of Biology Amy Doling was practically going bananas from the excitement. Smiling ear to ear, she told our reporters, “I cannot wait to see Harambe in person. Having him here will not only be seriously cool, but it will also be a major draw for prospective students looking to study Biology at Simpson.”

The Acorn asked several Carver frequenters their thoughts on the potential induction. Here is what Junior Cody Isabel had to say: “He’s the symbol of a true hero of our generation. He will give us strength while we study in Carver for too many hours for tests we still might not pass on the first try.”

Senior Erin Boggess was just as enthused, saying, “Simpson College knows what the people want. And need!” Boggess has already set up residency in Carver and is looking forward to having a new neighbor.

Along with the rest of Simpson College faculty and staff, President Simmons commented that he is also excited for this campus improvement, and thinks Carver will be a great final resting place for the heroic prince.

By Annabelle Fox

Categories: News

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