Brangelina Split-Up Leaves JenneJay As Last Standing Power Couple

brangelina-story

SIMPSON – With the downfall of the world’s most influential couple, a power vacuum has been left open that the world’s second most influential couple is hoping to fill.

Earlier today, the world was left reeling when word reached the presses the Angelina Jolie had filed for divorce from Brad Pitt. The coming divorce will break apart the all-powerful Brangelina, a dominant political, economic, and social force since the mid-2000s.

With their downfall comes an opportunity for the world’s second most influential couple to step up to the plate. Jay and Jenne Simmons, more commonly referred to as JenneJay among friends and family, have taken this opportunity to seize the power that has lain just outside of their fingertips for all these many years.

“You could’ve buttered me up and called me a biscuit when I heard the news!” exclaimed President Jay Simmons as he dutifully went about the house doing chores for his wife. “Don’tcha know, it’s time for my pardner and I to get a little of that spotlight for a change!”

JenneJay is expected to start making more public appearances throughout the US as they move to consolidate their new position as the world’s most powerful and influential couple.

“I’m just tickled pink at the opportunity presented by this most unfortunate circumstance,” explained Jenne Simmons as she struggled mightily to suppress a smile and retain a grave expression. “But I’m  certainly looking forward to my cover shoot for Vogue next month!

By Lionel Robertson

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Categories: News

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