Brace Yourselves… Sorority Bid Day is Upon Us.


SIMPSON – In only a matter of hours, sorority bids will be issued throughout the campus community. Students not going through formal recruitment are advised to be aware of their surroundings.

“We really want to make sure that students not going through recruitment aren’t frightened by all the shrieking and yelling they will be hearing tonight,” explained Kyle Fowler, the Associate Director of Student Activities. “Like, no one is being murdered. They’re just super duper happy.”

Current sorority members began preparations for tonight almost a year in advance (like, it is insane how much time they put into this) and have been spotted wearing matching shirts. Practice chants have also been heard but non-Greek members have been assured that the chants have no malicious magical purpose.

Students in the vicinity of the Kent Center this evening are encouraged to stick to the walls and avoid Black Box. In the past, several unfortunate accidents have occurred when an unsuspecting passerby was stampeded by members of the sororities rushing to greet their respective “Rush Crush.”

This Public Service Announcement is brought to you by President Jay “Stark” Simmons.

We also want to congratulate in advance the women receiving bids tonight and wish them a long and happy experience in the Simpson College Greek Life community.

By Lionel Robertson

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Categories: News


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