Midwest Earthquake Arrives One Week Too Late for Stumble Around


INDIANOLA – Hitting at 7:02 AM and emanating from the Pawnee, Oklahoma, area, Saturday morning’s earthquake could be felt throughout the Midwest, including Indianola.

The United States Geological Service placed this morning’s earthquake at a 5.6 magnitude while Simpson’s CAB measured the quake as a waste of around $20,000.

“We had paid for this earthquake several years in advance with a ‘Rumble for the Stumble’ package,” explained CAB Executive Nick Laning. “The oil companies assured us that their irresponsible underground disposal of wastewater from oil & natural gas production would result in a predictable, and schedulable, rumbling!”


As if the quake arriving a week late wasn’t bad enough, with it occurring at such an early hour, few students actually experienced what could have been the “Stumble Rumble Around.” CAB President Kelsey Schott has written the experience off as a teachable moment for her Executive Board.

“Next year we’re going to handle the rumbling on our own with an easy to put together nuclear explosion deep beneath the earth’s crust, probably underneath Pella,” stated Schott. “Besides, we’ve got the budget for it.

By Lionel Robertson

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Categories: News


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