Archive | May, 2016
Simpson College demands central has a wall

Simpson Will Build a Wall and Central Will Pay For It!

SIMPSON— The Dutch have struck again! Central students have been caught visiting Simpson College without proper documentation. With Simpson being a private school, individuals must register to be on campus. To keep Central students who are not transfers from coming to Simpson, President Simmons has proposed a wall along the Simpson/ Central border. “I will […]

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Simpson Announces Hiring of Miss Trunchbull for Interim Academic Dean

SIMPSON – Early today, President Simmons made the stunning announcement that Miss Agatha Trunchbull will be the interim Vice-President and Academic Dean for the 2016-2017 academic year. She will replace Steve Griffith by the end of June as Griffith retires to pursue not green pastures… but wide-open beaches and pina coladas. Miss Trunchbull is a veteran educator […]

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Simpson to Offer 4 Year Study Abroad Program in Canada Starting Next Year

SIMPSON – School officials announced early this morning that Simpson will be offering a four year study abroad program in Canada starting on January 20, 2017. Jay Wilkinson, Director of International Education at Simpson, organized the entirety of the program in a little under two days having begun on May 4 in the wee hours […]

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