Stoners Decide to Glaze It, Not Blaze It

DonutBlaze

SIMPSON— The largest annual pot day in the USA, 4/20, is looking a little different this year. With 2-3in of rain expected, it’s literally putting a damper on stoners most celebrated day.

“We couldn’t have asked for a better situation” Indianola’s Chief of Police said.

Not only does rain make the smell of the burning bush more potent (making it easier for ResLife, Security and police to find), but it also makes it difficult to keep lit.

“I was trying to smoke the dankest broccoli in all the nazo, but the condensation in the air kept putting the flame out” one unnamed Simpson junior said.

The Donut Club, one of Simpson’s (ridiculously too many) 70 organizations, sprung to action.

Posters were lined across campus with the message “Don’t blaze it, Glaze it!”.

Tori Halloran, founder of Simpson’s “Hump Day Donuts” and the Donut Club, says it’s a great opportunity for club growth and gives stoners a legal alternative to smokin’ the reefer.

Chris Frerichs, Simpson’s head of security, said “Stoners are lucky this year. We just developed a new Cheeto dust tracking system we predict will help us find twice as many grass blazers.”

Free donuts can are available on third floor Kent.

Donut go nuts.
We wish you a safe (and glazed, not blazed) 4/20!

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Categories: Features, News

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