Archive | November, 2015

Freshmen Plot to Steal Kent Center Christmas Tree

SIMPSON — Upon returning from a not-long-enough Thanksgiving break, many freshmen students proved themselves eager to get into the holiday spirit by decking their dorms out with classic Christmas decorations, such as wreaths, lights, bells, Christmas stockings and fake snow (as if real snow outside wasn’t already enough…) Some of the more festive students even […]

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Kim Jong Un Elected to Both SGA President & Vice-President

SIMPSON – In a surprise upset in the SGA elections, Kim John Un was elected via write-in campaign to both president and vice-president beating out Robert Lyons and Erica Heidler. Vote totals from the election could not be found as it appears North Korean hackers have taken down the entirety of the SurveryMonkey website. And […]

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Simpson Admissions Plans to “Keep it Fall, Y’all” at Simpson Year-Round

Squirrels, Pumpkin-Spice, academic perfection (of course), and everything nice is known as the formula for our very own Simpson College. It’s true, people from all over the state marvel at Simpson’s beautiful fall foliage. The stunning leaves inspire us to attend class. Now they’re gone, and so is our drive to maintain an acceptable GPA. […]

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14 MUCH BETTER Ways You Know You’re Absolutely Done With This Semester

When it comes to humorous observations and sublime satire about life at Simpson College, the Acorn is your one stop shop. That’s why we took it upon ourselves to help you all understand and recognize the symptoms of being absolutely done with this semester. And remember, when it comes to your local satire and humor, never settle […]

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Super Critter Ep. 5

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