Delayed StormFront Rollout Leads to New Name Suggestions

StormFront Story Pic

Simpson – In news that surprised literally no one, the rollout of StormFront’s replacement, SC Connect, has been delayed yet again. This is the… 4th time? SC Connect has failed to materialize with delays pushing back its release by almost one full calendar year.

“We understand how frustrated the college community is with the implementation of SC Connect,” said Kelley Bradder, vice-president of information technology, as she flipped through a folder entitled Excuses. “However, to pacify the masses, we’ve let Simpson staff and students send in suggestions of names for the new website!”

Bradder, in coordination with Chuck Johnson, academic software specialist and dean of delays, jointly released to “The Acorn” a listing of the suggestions they’ve received thus far and the names of the people who suggested them. That list can be seen below.

The Nagging Maples
-Professor Kedron Bardwell

– President Jay Simmons

SC Success
– Executive Director of Public Relations Jill Johnson

WhoCaresTheWiFiDoesn’tWorkAnyway Site
-Almost Every Student Suggestion

*Obnoxious Tornado Siren Sound*
-Head Football Coach Jim Glogowski

“Error 404 Site Not Found”
– Director of Management Information Systems Todd Little

The Website Formerly Known As StormFront
The Rapper Formerly Known As Puff Daddy

SC [Insert Weather Pun Here]
Associate Dean of Students Rich Ramos

“NOT Netflix”
Ann Chill

The Acorn
-The Simpsonian

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