SGA Hires Town Crier to Replace Newspapers on Campus

Town Crier.001EXTRA! EXTRA! Hear the loud man yelling all about it!

With everyone on campus letting their discontent be known for SGA’s decision to get rid of newspapers, members of the SGA have been cooking up ideas on how to please the student body. We turned to SGA President, Ethan Fredrick for answers.

“Simpson College has decided that we would like to bring a bit of history back to our campus in the form of an alternative news outlet that will truly resonate with the student body,” explained Fredrick.

That’s right, folks. SGA is on the lookout to hire a TOWN CRIER to spread our news across campus! Many members of the SGA have attributed this new campus addition to being the most cost-effective news option.

So, if you see a man running around spouting off current events, DO NOT FEAR. He has been hired to be here.

Although, the position has yet to be filled, the SGA is currently accepting applications. A popular candidate in the “running” for this position is famed Simpson runner, Blake Willadsen. SGA is hopeful in reaching out to Willadsen, who would be perfect for this position because of his endurance and speed.

We tracked down new Senator on the block, Jacob Bruns, to see what he had to say about the new position and its perceived best choice.

“Blake is a strong candidate for this position because of his athleticism, but I have to wonder, is his voice loud enough?” voiced Bruns. “That’s the only thing I worry about. We expect our Crier to be loud.”

Topics chosen for the Crier are: world events, local events, sports news and Tyler’s menu specials. It has yet to be confirmed on whether or not the Town Crier will read aloud Simpson’s most popular Yik Yak posts amongst the rest of the current events.

By Annabelle Fox

Tags: , , , , , ,

Categories: Features, News

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