The Acorn Unveils New T-Shirts

SIMPSON – The Acorn got new clothing apparel this past week and it’s “Nuttin’ But T-Shirts.” Following in the footsteps of “The Simpsonian’s” spring 2016 fashion line-up, some people are calling “The Acorn’s” new T-shirts an act of retaliation against “The Simp” but “The Acorn” staff promises that is not the case.

“We wanted a line of T-shirts that anyone could wear any time for an effortless look.” said Robert Lyons, Editor-in-Chief of “the Acorn.”

The belief of this fashion expert is that they did exactly that. The sleek black cotton cloth fits anyone and is quite comfortable. The front of the shirt bears “The Acorn’s” logo clear as day and the back is plain. This design is unlike “The Simpsonian’s” T-shirts which bear the slogan “We Put out On Thursdays” on the back.

“We wanted to keep things classy, not trashy,” explained Lyons.

So far the T-shirts have been a hit with students, staff and faculty. Many have gushed over how wonderful the T-shirts look.

“If they were going for classy, they really hit the nail right on the head!” exclaimed a visibly enthused Lauren Myers, a junior at Simpson. “Best shirts I have seen yet here at Simpson!”

Even the squirrels were excited to see a little “Acorn” spirit on campus.

“Squeek sqeeeeeek squeekity squeeker squeeeeekin!” squeaked Stormy the Squirrel.  He and his squirrel friends said they want to see more people wearing them around and hope that “The Acorn” starts making the T-shirts in an extra, extra, extra small.

Be sure to keep an eye out for these fashion forward T’s and let us know what you think!

-Stevie Frank
Twitter: @Stephfrancis13

[Non-satirical]- If you wish to have one of these awesome t-shirts, please join “The Acorn.” Only contributing members of “The Acorn” OR anyone willing to pay for one will receive a shirt.

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Categories: Features, News


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