Donald Trump Announces Run for President of the United States

2015-04-08_20-19-46SIMPSON – At today’s assembly, Donald Trump announced his candidacy for President of the United States.

On March 19th, Jill Johnson, the Executive Director of Marketing and Public Relations at Simpson, informed students that Trump was making a surprise visit to Simpson College on April 8th. This visit was not sponsored by Simpson as Trump rented Pote Theater for his “presidential exploratory committee” which he created on March 18th.

Alex Severn, Evan Sinclair and Zach Goodrich, the three moderators for the event, asked Trump the hard-hitting questions such as “What he thought about tractors- specifically, John Deere?” “What should students major in?” and “Why are there only 4 white guys on this panel?” Trump was more than happy to talk about these issues.

Trump proceeded to hit on foreign affairs issues, including the U.S. border situation with Mexico and diplomatic relations with China. Trump also pleased the crowd by saying he loves liberal arts education, that government shouldn’t legislate education and Simpson College is a good school.

However, the highlight of the event occurred when Severn asked Trump the question everyone was waiting for—“Are you running for Presidency of the United States?” Trump showed a slight grin on his face, stood up, and said, “You’re not supposed to ask that question. You’re fired!”

He then proceeded to stump around on stage pondering what he was about to say. He looked up into the crowd and loudly proclaimed, “I wasn’t going to announce this here, but you guys have been awesome. I AM RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!”

Three people clapped. Trump’s cue card guy held up the “Clap” sign and the crowd went wild.

Simpson College President, Jay Simmons, did not seem thrilled about Trump’s announcement as he is also running for President. On top of Simmons and Trump, Republican candidates who have “officially” announced their run for the highest office in the land include Skip Andrews, Michael Bickelmeyer, Kerry Bowers, Jeb Bush, Dr. Ben Carson, Dale Christensen, Chris Christie, Ted Cruz, Brooks Cullison, John Dummet Jr., Mark Everson, Carly Fiorina, Lindsey Graham, Jim Hayden, Chris Hill, Mike Huckabee, Bobby Jindal, Michael Kinlaw, Dennis Michael Lynch, George Pataki, Rand Paul, Rick Perry, Michael Petyo, Marco Rubio, Brian Russell, Rick Santorum, and Scott Walker.

Needless to say, The Acorn endorses Prez Simmons.

By: Nick Hermon

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Categories: Features, News

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One Comment on “Donald Trump Announces Run for President of the United States”

  1. May 27, 2015 at 4:50 pm #

    I will give Donald Trump my vote as the President of the United states. Donald is a good businessman, and he will put the right men in office, this country will finally be run properly.

    Like

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