Simpson Students at Model U.N. Conference Successfully Establish New Ties with North Korea

Screen Shot 2015-02-23 at 6.05.40 PMST. LOUIS—Students representing Simpson College at the 55th Annual Midwest Model United Nations Conference have successfully created diplomatic ties with the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (more commonly known as North Korea).

In doing so, Simpson students now have study abroad opportunities under a new program called Foreigners Under Communist Competence, or F.U.C.C. for short, to study in North Korea’s prestigious imprisonment camps.

The diplomatic breakthrough and academic windfall was due largely in part to Molly Monk, a junior at Simpson, who represented the communist nation of North Korea at the Model UN and worked tirelessly to establish U.S.-North Korean relations.

In addition to F.U.C.C., unpaid internships are also being created to serve Kim Jong-un, calling for applicants to be “completely and utterly submissive to the worship our Outstanding Leader. Those interested must be willing to have flexibility in their schedules — from a minimum of six months to life.”

The representatives of Simpson are proud to establish this relationship, as it will greatly aid in diversification efforts on campus.

***Update***

Since the release of this report, Matt Van Metre, a freshman at Simpson, has been accepted into the F.U.C.C. starting in May of 2015.

Van Metre said he felt compelled by the inspiring speeches of Delegate Molly Monk of North Korea, citing “an intense mixture of fear and admiration for the Great Successor” which has caused him to totally abandon his Catholic faith.

By: Molly Monk

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Categories: News

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