Simpsonian Is The New Black


Two weeks ago, The Simpsonian “came home with an armful of awards from the Iowa College Media Association.”

However, after investigative reporting, The Acorn discovered this is media manipulation at its finest! While in DesMoines, police captured the five reporters in a Mariott Hotel.

According to DesMoines Police, they were charged for robbing the Ankeny building at Simpson College and put on bail for $1,000,000.

“Obviously, the robbery was not a one-man job. Since they ‘covered’ the story, they were our top suspects” said DesMoines Police of Chief. “When we saw them sitting at a table eating candy bars in the hotel, we knew we had them! There were candy wrappers all over the place at the Ankeny campus. It just all added up.”

However, after testing in the lab later that day, none of the Simpsonian staff’s spit matched the DNA found on the wrappers.

Even after two weeks, The Simpsonian has still not reported this event.

“This is the importance of having multiple news sites on campus. You don’t get the biases from one group” said Acorn staffer Austin Jacobs. “Here at The Acorn, we report the stories you WANT to hear. All real, all good, all the time.”

By: Nick Hermon

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Categories: News


Subscribe to our RSS feed and social profiles to receive updates.

One Comment on “Simpsonian Is The New Black”

  1. February 20, 2015 at 12:47 pm #

    And Kate looks so suspicious. Her middle name is Bonnie! Why were we so stupid!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: