Archive | February, 2015

Students Flood Campus Counseling Due To Dress Controversy

The Dress: Is it black and blue or white and gold? Students, now unsure of whether or not to trust their eyes and brains were evenly divided on the question causing consternation throughout the campus community. As of this morning, students have flooded the Campus Counseling Services offices seeking aid for what has become to many students, […]

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The Gentle Giant of Simpson College- Cort Singleton

Transcript– Meet Cort Singleton. Simpson’s gentle giant who stands 8’5″`. Simpson is reaching new heights in effort to increase diversity in student population. Cort, however, deals with daily struggles that us normal student’s don’t normally have to face such as fitting in dorm beds and hitting the shower head. Despite all this, he is probably […]

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Student Literally Pays an Arm and a Leg For Books

Last week, the Simpson College Bookstore had a TWO DAY SALE! For once in the store’s existence, clothing, books, and every day supplies were almost priced normally. However, as advertised, this event lasted only two days and prices have since returned to their abnormally high levels. Andy Mayes, a Simpson junior, did not realize he […]

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Simpson Students at Model U.N. Conference Successfully Establish New Ties with North Korea

ST. LOUIS—Students representing Simpson College at the 55th Annual Midwest Model United Nations Conference have successfully created diplomatic ties with the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (more commonly known as North Korea). In doing so, Simpson students now have study abroad opportunities under a new program called Foreigners Under Communist Competence, or F.U.C.C. for short, […]

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Simpsonian Is The New Black

Two weeks ago, The Simpsonian “came home with an armful of awards from the Iowa College Media Association.” However, after investigative reporting, The Acorn discovered this is media manipulation at its finest! While in DesMoines, police captured the five reporters in a Mariott Hotel. According to DesMoines Police, they were charged for robbing the Ankeny […]

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