Millie the ghost laid off as cost-saving measure

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The sudden layoffs this semester have been met with shock from both students and staff, but the worst has been yet to come. The Acorn has gotten exclusive information that our favorite resident ghost, Millie, has been laid off. She is set to leave at the end of the semester.

Millie, born Mildred Hedges, was a 22-year old home economics major and freshman who attended Simpson in the mid-1930s. On May 6th, 1935, she tripped and fell to her death from the third floor of the old chapel, what is now called College Hall. Her tragic demise left a sad mark in the history of Simpson College.

Even years after the incident, something didn’t seem right about the old building. It wasn’t apparent right away to school officials that Millie hadn’t passed on to the afterlife. Students started reporting strange lights and sounds from the building. A few even claimed to see her apparition on the stairs from which she had fallen. Only after receiving confirmation from well-respected ghost hunters did school administrators take official notice of Millie.

“Millie is a part of our campus just as much as any one of our staff or students,” said concerned sophomore Paige Dorn. “Even if she is dead, Millie provides a good story for us to enjoy, and the lucky few that do get to see or hear her are better for the experience. Millie brings joy to our campus.”

In the last few weeks, paranormal activity has been on the rise in College Hall. Students and staff have complained of power outages, and the internet will quit working at random times. Items such as confidential files, papers, laptops, and chairs have been stolen and found in different areas of the building. The recent activity is very much out-of-character for the normally quiet ghost.

“Paranormal activity has spiked since Millie was told she was being laid off. She’s usually very quiet and considerate during office hours,” said Marissa Simplot, an admissions counselor for Simpson. “Millie is understandably upset, but the staff and students don’t know of any way to save her position with the college.”

Getting to the third floor financial offices in College Hall has become an extremely spooky experience. Students have been bombarded with a negative energy and some of the more spiritually sensitive won’t even enter the building because of the anger that permeates the building. The once quiet College Hall has become home to loud thudding noises, wailing, and the pulling of hair. For many students and staff, it is unnerving.

“She has been wailing nonstop, throwing objects, and hiding things. At first, it was cool having a ghost working in our offices, but now it’s just another hassle,” said a very annoyed admissions staff member who wished remain anonymous for fear of repercussions from Millie. “It’s not like she’s the only person that’s been laid off.”

The Acorn’s very own special team of paranormal investigators has tried to contact Millie for comment through a psychic, but have not received any response. However, soon after the séance, there was a separate, unrelated incident of the psychic falling down the stairs.

“We have to consider that Millie was very young when she died. She may have unfinished business or isn’t ready to move on yet,” said Chaplain Mara Bailey. “President Simmons has to consider that there is more to Millie’s predicament. He can’t just expect her to pack up her things and leave, like someone who is still alive.”

President Simmons has given Millie till the end of first semester to move on. If she fails to meet his deadline, Simmons plans to call in an exorcist to forcibly and permanently remove her from the building. Students are warned to not use Ouija boards near the building until such time as the current situation has been handled.

By: Heaven Perez

Tags: , , , ,

Categories: News

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