Simpson College to replace Buxton Stadium with multi-million dollar Thunderdome.

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While Simpson is in its current renovations phase, Buxton stadium is on the list for improvement. While there is nothing wrong with Buxton Stadium, it is not new, so it needs to be replaced with something shiny and new.

This shiny new stadium will be deemed the Pepsi Max Thunderdome. The stadium will seat 300,000 and will host all athletic events that were held in Buxton Stadium. It will basically be the exact same thing, but it will be bigger, newer, and painted the beautiful mustard yellow of the sculpture in the middle of C-Street.

In the basement of the Thunderdome there will be 7 tennis courts surrounded by an indoor track. On the floor above it will be a bowling alley, an ice rink and a lap pool. And of course the top floor will be the football field.

As a part of the design for the Thunderdome, there will be urinals built into the exterior C-Street wall to draw public urinators away from the mid-campus sculpture. It is of course a dome made of thunder, so all games played there will be warm. The downside is that thunder is not as cheap as it used to be, and will cost the college millions. The Thunderdome will be payed for with a small amount of money the college has saved, and in large part by students.

Simpson is looking for ways to help take the edge off the cost though. Nick Starr, the Simpson representative of the Jacksonville Jaguars, has been in contact with the team discussing the possibility of them moving to Indianola. Simpson has also been talking with teams from the Canadian Football League, viewing the possibility of bringing a CFL team stateside.

The construction is estimated to take about 18 months. During that time, the soccer team will play in Intramural Stadium, behind the baseball field. The football team will temporarily start and 8-man collegiate arena football league and play in Cowles and be national champions. That way there will be a banner to hang in the Thunderdome.

Former NFL star quarterback, Brett Favre said, “I think the 8-man arena league is a great idea! I’d come out of retirement again just to play! Ya think the NCAA will let me? Remember kids, wear Wranglers, the U-shape gives ya room where ya want it.”

There you have it, you heard it first here, Buxton stadium to be replace with the Thunderdome.

This has been Erin Andrews with The Acorn, Simpson’s Nuttiest News Medium.

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