Obituary: Gossip Squirrel dead due to hit and run

gossipsquirrelGossip Squirrel, age four, of Indianola, Iowa, passed away October 15th from injuries suffered in a hit and run on W. Clinton Ave. near the Clinton Apartment block. The driver of the vehicle has yet to be apprehended by campus security.

Gossip Squirrel was born in a tree near Simpson College to Albert and Martha SirQuirrel. She graduated from Northern High School in 2012 at the top of her class and later went on to attend Southern Squirrel Technical University (North Campus). She graduated with honors and degree in multimedia journalism. Gossip Squirrel was never married and has no children to mourn her passing.

Gossip Squirrel was the leading source of news for the majority of the squirrel population on Simpson’s campus. Not only did she break breaking news constantly but she also controverted controversial news on occasion. Without her constant and informative YikYak posts, one can only imagine what will happen to the Simpson community.

“Gossip Squirrel was really the Walter Cronkite of our generation!” said sophomore Marissa Busby of the late great Gossip Squirrel, “She will truly be missed.”

Memorial services will be held on November 20th at 4:00 p.m. in the middle of Pedestrian Plaza. An acorn will be planted in her honor. Donations can be made to Squirrels United in her name.

By Paige Dorn

Tags: , , , , ,

Categories: News

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