Severe Thunderstorm Warning Issued for Simpson College – Tornadoes Possible

SEVERE THUNDERSTORM ALERT: The National Weather Service in Des Moines has issued a Severe Thunderstorm Alert for Warren County and Indianola effective until 4:30pm CDT tonight. Meteorologists expect wind gusts up ...

President Trump Really Enjoying Watergate Reacting-to-the-Past Role Playing Game

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The recent firing of FBI Director James Comey has raised fears in the nation’s capital that President Trump is taking his Simpson College Reacting-to-the-Past Game a little ...

Sneak peek of topics to be on display at 2017 Undergraduate Research Symposium

SIMPSON — Symposium Day at Simpson College is the one day that students get to show off all the hard work they have done over the past semester or year.  ...

Latest News

Sustainability Club Aims to Save Environment By Recycling Simpsonians

SIMPSON – A new initiative created by the Sustainability Club aims to ...

Top 10 Reasons Why YOU Should Vote Today

1. You’re technically a “real” adult, so your opinion matters 2. The ...

Professors Surprised to Discover Students Not at Standing Rock Indian Reservation

SIMPSON/N. DAKOTA – Students have been “checking in” on Facebook to the Standing ...

Students Making Their Own “Adult” Candy for Safeblock

  SIMPSON – In preparation for Safeblock this evening, several students have ...

Academic Success of Student Athletes Expected to Drop for No Apparent Reason

SIMPSON – In an unexpected turn of events, Simpson athletes, as of ...

Acorn Alliterations

Script & Video Editing By: Nick Hermon Actors: Kayley Zimmerman & Robert ...

Featured Stories

President Simmons and Jenné to host Whine and Cheese social for Simpson seniors

SIMPSON — President Jay Simmons understands the struggles seniors go through in late April.  That is why he and his wife, Jenné, announced they will be hosting a Whine and Cheese night at 6 p.m on Thursday at their house. The event will be a safe space for seniors to whine about any aspect of […]

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Simpson Republicans confused why “liberal snowflake” students haven’t started melting yet

SIMPSON — Three months into Donald Trump’s presidency, with the heat of spring already making its presence known, some of Simpson’s more conservative residents recently expressed their disbelief that their “liberal snowflake” counterparts haven’t melted yet.  “From what I’ve read on the subject, these liberals should already have dissolved into puddles by now,” stated Republican […]

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ResLife Opens ARMC as New Housing Option for Music Majors

SIMPSON – As juries rapidly approach, an exciting new housing option is now available for music majors inside the Amy Robertson Music Center. Music majors can now eat, sleep, and live in their favorite practice room 24/7. Furnishings include an old piano of questionable intonation, a matching piano bench, one or two plastic red chairs, […]

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Campus Day canceled due to widespread hangovers affecting students, faculty

SIMPSON — Earlier this morning, Rich Ramos announced that Campus Day service activities were to be canceled due to the massive, collective hangover students and faculty alike were experiencing. The email stated: “After looking at the effects of Campus Day Eve, namely the shared hangover that many are still recovering from, we have determined that […]

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The Acorn to continue publishing high-quality, fact-based news, apologizes for fake news

SIMPSON — Last Saturday, the Acorn published its first ever fake news story, suggesting we will be permanently shuttering our operations.  The staff at the Acorn would like to extend our deepest apologies to our loyal readers who were shocked, heartbroken and freaking out over what seemed a perfectly straightforward and believable announcement to make […]

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